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Tuesday, September 7th, 2004
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| Time: | 7:04 pm. |
| Mood: |  depressed. | | Music: | The Used. |
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At the start of this post I'd like to thank all my friends for staying friends with me. Friendships are oh so easy to lose. Mostly for me. I've gone through 3 best friends over the past year or two. It's really starting to suck when you think you can trust people, then they leave your life forever...But I guess thats what life is about right..? .. Changes..?
Me and Anissa got in a huge fight. I'm not sure if you guys are aware of what happend... But it went kind of like..
Whitney: "Don't sell our demo we suck, we have no talent"
TRANSLATED: Don't sell our demo, its not worth money for, we need to practice more, because we're not that good yet. I suck.
Anissa: "Wow whitney, you really know how to make me smile! :-)! *sarcastic*"
And then we went over to Tim.. & we "destroyed" the band, aparently?.. And then I gave her a dollar to buy skittles.. Then the whole entire day shes been acting like she wanted to kill me, but yet she was smiling. ...maybe it was because I gave her money for skittles..? Ugh. I don't know.. It was pissing me off though.. If she was mad at me, why the fuck didn't she just tell me so? I'd rather her say it to my face than act like everythings perfect... Because it isn't.
Later on in the day (after school) I get online and her sister IMs me.. when we started talking about Anissa she said "don't worry about it, shes just acting like a bitch to get attention".. then after an hour or two of that.. she IMed me again and said "oh yeah, shes angry!! O_O!!" and then she said I should go shoot myself and all this other shit and I'll never be perfect?? I fucking know i'll never be perfect. I'll never be perfect for anyone. Ever...........
I talked to a few people today about this.. They sort of helped..
I'm lacking in effort, and energy. I really don't care about a lot of things anymore, like I used to. I'm a fucking retard.. I was crying in my room earlier, and I was just so pissed off, and I promised myself I'd never eat again. I want to cut so bad, it's unbelievable..I want to go in my room and just tear myself apart..
But for the love of humanity, I better not. My mom would freak.. She said next time she finds "one more mark" on my body, shes going to send me to a priv. school & make me live with my dad.. & etc.. -__- everythings going soo shitty right now...
</3
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, August 10th, 2004
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| Time: | 1:57 pm. |
| Mood: |  hyper. | | Music: | Sugar Cult. |
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I'm.In.A.GREAT.Mood.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, July 31st, 2004
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| Time: | 9:42 pm. |
| Mood: |  sad. | | Music: | rise against. |
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I wish I had at least ONE friend to talk to about all of this.......................................................
I only have myself....It seems as though the depression is dragging me under every day... can't I just die now...?
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 2:30 pm. |
| Mood: |  crushed. | | Music: | the used. |
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I stayed up till six last night.. I woke up around 11.. I told myself I'd only take a little nap.. But my body thought different, apparently..
Its funny.. How you can be surrounded by people.. The people that love you the most...........and yet.. You feel so alone...
...Ergh...
I don't want to go to the doctor.
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| Time: | 2:12 am. |
| Mood: |  lonely. | | Music: | Mestttttttt. |
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i never felt this way before..
open chest, heart on the floor..
___________________________
Today started off with a knock on my door. My mum walked in and said "Just making sure that you arn't dead." and then left. Which pissed me off beyond reason. Because if I was dead, she wouldnt have to knock..And if I was alive.. then why would she knock, if I was sleeping? =/
Went online.. Talked to Kyle.. and tomorrow hes going to skate to Army Navy and we're going to hang out and act cool. He said he might even buy me a slushie. Yaaay.
Right after that I talked to Rebecka.. She kept on trying to say stuff to make me question Nick =/ I trust him.. She knows that..
Just because she can't trust Jake, doesn't mean she has to take it out on me.. You know? I love her to death. I really do...And I dont think that she meant for me to feel like shit after she said all that stuff.. But whatever. It happens.
Right after that happend I called Mark & we talked on the phone for three or four hours.. He amuses me.. We were talking about something (I cant remember what) and he was doing dishes.. and then he randomly said "I look hot while i'm washing dishes"................I almost pissed my pants laughing. It was funny..
Then he went in his room and then I told him that his brother loves me. And then he goes "whatever" and then I told him to ask him. And he goes "do you love whitney? or do you hate her? or do you think shes a ugly whore?" "SHES UGLYYYYY!!!! I HATE HERRR!!" .................
It was funny.
But it made me feel stupid. =/
MMmmyep.. After we desided that we'd call eachother every wendsday I went on a walk.. and I got back around 11/12 ish.. and my mum was really pissed. I didnt care. I just got back on the computer.. She over reacts.. I was just walking...God forbid i do that..
Well.. whatever.. Nicks leaving for vacation soon. :-( I don't want him to go. I just got back!! ergh.. oh well.......................I guess i can just spend time with my other friends.......................i dont know....................i dont think i have any.................heh....just kidding?... =/ Or am I..
Well... End..
<3
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, July 7th, 2004
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| Time: | 7:55 pm. |
| Mood: | crushed. | | Music: | Murderdolls. |
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He called me..........
All the way from Kansas..........
I miss him.. =(
<3
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I don't like being sad.
But I can't help it.
I hate being depressed.
I hate acting like everythings okay, and i'm fine, but on the inside i'm dying.
Every single word that comes out of your mouth is poison.
Every single breath you take you exhale more cancer out for me.
Next time you see me, keep that as a reminder, thats the last time.
</3
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 5:18 pm. |
| Mood: | sad. | | Music: | Mest. |
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Heart Break. Fake Smile. 2,000 Miles.
*Sad*
<3
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| Time: | 5:30 pm. |
| Mood: |  ditzy. | | Music: | NFG- Hit or Miss. |
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This journal is dead.
This site is dead.
I was using it for the emotions anyways. Hah.
I USED YOU, LIVEJOURNAL!
Take. THAT.
Suckas.. >_O
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 6:09 pm. |
| Mood: |  thoughtful. | | Music: | Nofx.... |
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I wish I could make things work out. I really wish I could. But I can’t. So I’m out watching my world fall apart, right in front of my own eyes. I give too much, and expect the same amount back, and then I give too less, and still expect more. I hate everything about myself and I still to this DAY don’t understand why people put up with me. I've lost so many people that are important to me that I’m almost impossible to get to know. I'm afraid of getting hurt, so I make a wall that’s impossible to break down for people. Right now I can only say one person really knows me that’s still my friend. That’s one person... that’s not very much, but I guess it’s all I need. I still feel like, if I lose this person, I'll be by myself. I don’t like the thought of being alone, yet I don’t like the thought of being with someone. Both situations make it really easy to get hurt, and I don’t like that. Sometimes I numb myself from the world, so that if I get hurt, I wont have to show emotion to it. But I’ve been getting pretty bad at that lately because I’m starting to care for people, which really makes me nervous. I don’t want to get hurt, I’ve been hurt way too many times, and I’m sick of it.
Good news? Anyone up for something positive?
x I’m going to Colorado.
x Jakes out of ISS.
x Might join another band.
x Found my cds
x Jake let me borrow his Offspring c.d. :)
alright.. Yay for good news..
<loveyou3
_whitney_
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| Time: | 7:33 pm. |
| Mood: | lonely. | | Music: | trapt. |
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I went to my Vatis the other day for the wedding. He got married to Terrisa who he met when I was in 6th grade. I'm in 9th grade now. EVERYONE there was drunk by the time it was over. Right after they said their 'I do's' Me, Emily, & Olivia walked to Nicks house and knocked on his door. We didnt even know if that was the right house.......But we did it anyways.
We had to wait for Nick to get out of his pjs, and into NORMAL clothes, then we went in his room for like 2 mintues.. and I saw TOY HORSES!! Hahaha.. "Whats so funny??" "NOT TOY HORSES!!!" Hahahahaha.. It was sooo amusing.. Then we went outside and made nick come walk with us, and then we went to my house and hung out for a bit. I played bass for a while, Nick played my games, (They were all really easy, and he couldnt even get passed the first level ><) and Then I ended up laying down some how. A minute or two after that my drunk aunt comes in the room screaming her head off because Train's, "drops of jupiter" was playing & she wanted me to dance with her.. =\ So I walked in there.. and I was just standing.. and she practicaly raped me with her dancing. It was horrible. I was scared.. and very afraid.. then people started taking pictures.. because obviously, this amused them. Assholes. They really have no idea how scared I was. I could have told them, but it wouldnt have matterd because they were drunk anyways.. :/
So after that Kid Rock, out of all the people they could put in, came on.. and my family... being the white trash they are... starts SCREAMING to it. -_- Oy.. I swear, I do NOT belong to these people...................Swear.. ><
After some while of that, Nick had to go home. Then I got bored again, because Emily and Olivia had left too.. I was all...walking around..
After that I cant really remember what happend.. Just some highlights are
*talking to my aunt judy (shes a doctor) about my stress problem (I have.. okay.. its a over compulsive disorder with 'pain' and it involves doing almost anything to get my mind of stress.. and she said well.. it starts with a T but I cant remember what its called.......) and she said shes going to give me meds for it.. i need it.. bad......
* "Jamming" with Justin and my Vati
* Talking to my Vati about smoking and how he should quit doing that and drinking...he does that stuff a lot.. and its scary, concidering family members have died of the things he does...
* watched my uncle mark and some other guy put bird seed in my Vati & Terresas bed o_O
* Got in a fight with Uncle Jerry and yeah.. it was scary O_O
* Me, Mandy, and Olivia were in my room and Emily was doing that nasty 'Burp in breathe' thing and I told her to cut it out, and she moved her hands in some weird thingy, and she goes 'Oh Whitney, Its just air!!' and then she knocked over her cake, & when she was trying to put it back on her plate she knocked over the 7up, and she was like " I have it under control!! i have it under control!!!" and then she put the 7up can upside down (where the part you drink from was on the carpet) and she goes "see i told you i had it........" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" ...Then she figured out what she did. It was very funny. I almost pee'd my pants...er...skirt.....?.... :)
* trying to commit 'sucide' by jumping off the truck. Hah. I think Justin might have seen my undies.. ..O_o..............
anyways, thats all i remember from that thingy..
Today was un important and utter shit. Just ignore what your reading right now and concintrate on the other stuff. weee.
<3
_whitney_
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| Time: | 5:18 pm. |
| Mood: | bouncy. | | Music: | NOFXNOFXNOFXNOFX. |
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First off, Mrs, Bitch, I'm going to call you & make you get up, FUCKER ,who just called, I'm NOT named TONEY, and NO, I don't owe you ANY FUCKING MONEY.
Oh. My. Goooodd......... NESS.
Okay. Second :-)
I had a okay day today. Boring, but okay. Its friday! Todays Jakes bday,and its Heathers tomorrow, and, my Vati's wedding, & the slipknot concert *WHICH I'M STILL PISSED BECAUSE I DONT GET TO GO TO* >_O
Oh well....Blah blah blah. I dont have much to talk about. OH YEAH. Band practice Sunday. Anissa, if you read this, do you think your Vati or Mum can give me a ride there? I'm ride-less- because my Mum wants to be a big-fat-whore-bitch-thing- & wont take me. Heh. So yeah..Me & Nick did a fag dance for Louis today. It was great......... End?
<3
_whitney_
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Thursday, April 29th, 2004
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| Time: | 4:25 pm. |
| Mood: |  amused. | | Music: | SOTY. |
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Blah Blah Blah.
Jake called me the other night & we talked for a coupple of minutes before I left to go to my Vati's and his Dad came home. When I first answerd the phone, I didn't even bother to look at the caller I.D. & he goes " I LOVE YOU!!" and I go. "...What the hell? Who is this?!?!" And then he told me it was him.. Then he started to act like he was jacking off to old ladys that were all.. picking up leaves.. & yeah.. It was very funny.. o_O But a little weird. When he hung up he said, "Bye best friend!" That made my day.
Today was alright. It didnt have good things, or bad things. Tomorrow, normal day schedual. Damn ><
Ohhh well.
I have to go pack for that one place with the snow that I'm going to. It starts with a C and ends with a O.. I think............=| *shifty eyes* I dont know...
If you can guess I'll.. um.. do somthing!! WOO!! o_O Yeah...............
<3
_whitney_
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Tuesday, April 27th, 2004
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| Time: | 8:54 pm. |
| Mood: |  drained. | | Music: | slipknot. |
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Today was very.. Emotional........
We, or the grades above us, had the TAKS. We got to sit around and do nothing. I hung out with Anissa, Brandon, & Dewey. It was fun. Dewey kept on making turkey noises. It amused me. I was okay then. I was perfectly fine.
After this, I made this list in my journal of what I needed to do today. Important things. Then Anissa read it. It had somthing about Jake on there, so she was talking to me about him for a while, then said someone said somthing to her about somthing he told this other person (High-school drama. I thought i'd never get dragged into it.)and how things happend.. and yeah. Basicly, I told him somthing REALLY personal, and he went out and told someone. Then this person, told Anissa. Anissa, being the good friend she is, told me what it was at the end of the period. I tried so hard not to cry. But I just couldnt stand it. I wanted someone to talk to, but no one was around that I could actually talk to. Brandon was all just sitting there, then people were all 'whats wrong?!' I wanted to fucking stab them several times with a switch blade, but whatever. Then Brandon went outside & sat on the stairs.. We sat there for a while, not really saying anything, words were said.. then I asked why he went out here anyways, he said to give me space. I ended with a great line. I must admit. 'I don't need space. I need a friend'
That was good, AND the way I was feeling at the time too. So after that I went to lunch. On the way there guess who I saw. Jake. I gave him a go to hell look. I was so pissed. I wanted to just go over there and bash his fucking head into the stairs.. But insted I just kept on walking. I wouldnt let him interfear with my thinking. When I got to the table I started crying again. I just couldnt hold it in. Blair saw me and he ran over and was like 'WHITNEY!!' and he talked to me for a while till everyone got to the table.. Then he just joked around and sang his little gay joke songs.. Then Rebecka came over there.. and we talked.. and yeah. I started crying, AGAIN. >< I swear i'm too fucking emotional when it comes to this. I guess I have a good reason though if you knew what it was about..... Blair skiped P.E. to hang out with me and cheer me up. It made me feel happy. Hes so awesome and I love him so much. Hes great. <3
After stupid lunch I went to Exsplorations. Where I basicaly rambled about killing people and how i was upset. I really just wanted to break down to the whole class then just sleep. I just wanted someone to talk to the whole day. I guess I wanted to talk to Jake the most out of everyone. Just to talk to him. To yell is actually what I wanted to do. Anyways, when I got there Andrew had follown me in there. We talked for a bit. He asked me why I was crying earlyer, I said me & Jake got in a fight. He said what about, I said I told him somthing really personal and he went off & told someone. He said, i'm sorry, can we talk about it later, I said sure, and then he left. Hes really awesome too, and I love him just as much.
I talked to Tim about getting us new skins & a new bass petal & other shit for the drumset, and he said he'd get it for us. :D that makes me happy. That was one of the FEW good things that happend to me.
After that I went to Algebra. I was okay there. I just kept on thinking about things I shouldnt have. My mind just kept wondering. I just wanted to go home. Home.. that sounded like a perfect thing right then.
After that I went to BCIS. Talked to Chris & argued with Nickolas about him trying to trip me. So I shoved a chair at him. It was silly. But thats okay. Stupid older people & their.. stupid...ness.
During this period I couldnt stop thinking about Jake. I was so angry >_O I came up with this great plan to throw the notebook in his face when I saw him. It was a great plan. Too bad Andrew talked to him & told him what happend & he avoided me. Damn. That would have been kinda funny..
When my nana came home the first thing I did was.. Well. Second thing I did was eat a HUGE bowl of Icecream, Brownies, and hot fudge. Thats what I do when I'm upset.. I'm suprized i'm not huge yet. =\ During that time, I put on a away message about if someone knew when Jake would get home, Nick IMed me and said he WAS at home, so I called him and it took a while for him to get on the phone but when he did he sounded all sad.. and depressed.. I asked him why he did it. He said it was so that this person wouldnt take our notebook and read it, because then we'd be in more shit then we were in now. I said i dont give a fuck. I asked him on a scale of ONE to TEN how personal this thing was that he told the other person..............He said ten.
He knew he did somthing wrong. He felt bad for it. I'm willing to give him another chance. So I'm going to. But I don't know. *sigh* People are stupid. I dont think its their fault.. It just happens.
I told my Mum that I was crying at school, she said why, I said because of Jake, and she said "why what did he do?", I said he told somthing personal to someone else that i told him not to, and she goes, ARE YOU A LESBIAN?!!?
what.
the.
hell.
><
I just. Heh. I dont know what to say now. Blah. This is the end.
<3
sorry so long.
_whitney_
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| Time: | 4:06 pm. |
| Mood: |  okay. | | Music: | cyberwaste. |
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I'm so bored.. I want to go to my mum's friend's llama farm.. but she said not today. That makes me kind of sad, but at least theres a chance, right? I like llamas. They make me happy.
I edited a picture last night. It turned out exactly how I wanted it to. Then I went to bed. Whoa, I have such a cool life. Not.
<3
_whitney_
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 12:54 am. |
| Mood: | bouncy. | | Music: | NOFX. |
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Things that have happend recently.
--1. Went to Anissa's this weekend. We practiced a lot and then when my dad came to pick me up we played 2 songs for him. He said we were all about sex drugs and rock and rockin roll. I laughed at him. Then viciously attacked him with a butcher knife. Not really. :-)
--2. AMANDA CAME OVER!! GAHHHHHHHHHH. It has been FOREVER since I last saw her! But she was all killing herself with cancer sticks though. Ew. Those make your breath smell bad. Oh well. Shes been clean for over 100 days clean or somthing. I'm proud of her. A lot. :) we're trying to get her back in the band, but we duno. Shes always busy or gone.. we miss you Amanda!! :(
--3. My dad likes to talk about religion. He came and picked me up and took me to Emilys.. (Because he was going out to eat with my Uncle Mark & Aunt Judy for his birthday (terresa came too)) Me and Emily walked to Mr. Jim's pizza and I drug my bass over there with me because i'm super ghetto like that & people honked. o_O it was insane. But i had fun. I acted like a retard (not like i had to..) on the way back from there and almost made Emily piss her pants. She put the pizzas in the middle of the road and sat down so she wouldnt pee. I called her a idiot. Why would you lay our pizza in the road?!?! IT COULD DIE!!... *not caring about Emily* HAHAHAHAHAHA. :blush: just kidding. :) But yeah.. That stuff happend. It was fun.
I'm bored of typing.
Love you guys. You all rock.
<3
_Whitney_
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Tuesday, April 20th, 2004
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| Time: | 6:48 pm. |
| Mood: |  bored. | | Music: | slipknot. |
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eh, nothing much has really happend. went to aunt annas. that was boring.. i just wrote a note to jake & watched brother bear the whole time. i rode a go cart with emily. it was super gay. we made out the whole time. ..not really. that would be weird. we're cousins. =\ *so bored* ...some one buy me the yellowcard cd... please? i'm dying. i need it.
<3
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Saturday, April 10th, 2004
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| Time: | 9:17 pm. |
| Mood: |  stressed. |
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went to heathers the other day. we went to walmart and i rode a fake horse and talked to rebecca and nikki and all these other people. heathers cool. shes my buddy.
i played pokemon silver and watched pokemon and jimmy neutron when i was there. i'm a loser, i know.
and i'm fucking sick, and i dont feel good. i want to be left alone. and i want to live in a forest. dammit.
<3
::whitters::
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Wednesday, April 7th, 2004
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| Time: | 7:43 pm. |
| Mood: |  silly. | | Music: | baaahhhh >_O. |
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Nothing has really been happening worth enough to update about. Frank asked me out, i said i'll think about it. in realitiy, i'm probably not going to. it was just a 'whitney kind of answer' if i do say so myself..
me and jake are getting to be close friends.. which is weird for me.. since i've known him since i was about two.
i've been helping him with his habbits, and vice versa. its been quite nice to have someone i can talk to. we have our own journal. you want to know why? because we're cool. thats why.
toxicsoup: my stepbrother has a really squeaky chair
toxicsoup: if i go past his room and he's not sitting in the chair i'll go sit down and just make it squeak until he kicks me out of his room :-)
but you my friend, you are WAY cooler.
<3
-whitney-
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| Time: | 8:47 pm. |
| Mood: |  scared. | | Music: | nfg. |
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We were at the farm Saturday. Once we got there, I knew that I would have an okay time. I knew it wouldn’t be so bad, because nothing can be bad when you bring a camera with you. If you know me, you know I get a lot of inspiration from taking pictures. I just love to do it, love to edit them, I think its great, and it passes time by quite nicely. I was catching things on fire when I hear my Vati & Teresa outside. My dad wants me to drive the tractor. I’m not a farm girl. Everyone knows this. So I told him, I’d rather just sit here and catch things on fire... He looked disappointed, and kind of annoyed. I didn’t go. I stayed, and caught my napkin on fire. & a bug…*cough ** but anyways.
I start playing my game, and listening to the portable c.d. player I have, when I hear my dad say ‘your cousins here!’ I was excited. But not excited enough to get up. She came in there eventually, and I still played my game. We talked; she left to shoot the gun. Eventually somehow, we ended up trying to get this ‘weegee’ board to work. We were missing the ‘weegee’ piece, so we were looking around for something. Her & her friend Sarah tried using a bottle cap last time they were there, and it didn’t work, so this time we used a magnifying glass. It didn’t work, so we tried getting something of someone else’s that was dead, *a book thing *, and it didn’t work either. It made us mad, so we went outside and caught things on fire. That was good fun. After that we went on a walk. There was a bug in my hair and I freaked out. It was IN my head... Sort of... it was nasty. O.o bugs don’t belong in my hair…..
Some while after that we left. We went out to eat at Miranda’s. Not one of my favorite places, having eaten there MANY, MANY times with Kevin and my Mum, I’m rather sick of it. I wanted Subway……..
Anyhow! We saw Phillip (my Naunas next door neighbors son) there, and he kept on looking over at me… I was afraid…we ate then when we went outside we decided that Emily could spend the night because I would have been out numbered at the house because there were tons of guys over, with Justin. Okay…..two. But they were scary enough to count for a ton of guys, okay!? Ha...anyways…
We went back home and me and Emily chilled out and talked and stuff. We walked around and then we heard… what was this….Blink182..? Sung... at the top of someone’s lungs..? What... What the hell?!!? Who else could it be but Justin and his goofy little friends? We stayed in the kitchen by the window and listened to them sing. I was amused for a while. Singing along on the other side…we just laughed… eventually we went out there to watch… then Justin caught us >_O we had to make up something QUICK! So, what comes out of my mouth? “We want a show!!” …damn me and my idiot-ness... Then Emily goes along with me. “YEAH! We want a show!!” Then one of his friends starts banging on his butt with drumsticks, and then sticks them in Justin’s mouth, forming the illusion of a blowjob. Wonderful. Simply, wonderful. Couldn’t get any better than that. A couple of minutes after this, a doorbell rang... Me, jumping around like a bunny, and Emily following close behind, go and get it. It’s Justin’s girlfriend and some other girl I hadn’t met yet. O.o I felt sorry for them, because then they have to hang out with the boys. Poor, poor them. But I guess they didn’t mind, that’s what they came over for, right? Who knows? Not me.
She stayed up later than I did, and she said that the boys were asking if I was a vampire... O.o I thought that was a tad bit odd. Damn boys asking stupid questions. Damn them all.
Next day woke up, ate breakfast, and then just kind of hung around the house playing ‘Breath of Fire’ (a game I have. It’s a lot like final fantasy, but different. Its fun.)
Somehow later after this, we ended up at a restaurant in Arlington called ‘Chinese barbeque’ and we ate. After that we got a fortune cookie. Okay, you’re going to think I’m dumb maybe, but I’m really serious about these, and I’ve been thinking about ‘love’ and ‘relationships’ a lot lately.. So it kind of freaked me out. The fortune read ‘To be loved, be loveable.’ It’s a true statement, you can’t sit here and tell me that its not true. Because, well, it is. It’s very true. I tend to keep to myself. I don’t like getting in relationships, whether its ‘friend’ relationships, ‘family’ relationships, or ‘boyfriend girlfriend’ relationships, because I’m scared of getting hurt. I’m scared of getting attached to people, so I block myself away from others, and try not to get any feelings involved with anything. I avoid everything. Last time I let someone get close to my heart; they backstabbed me, and never talked to me again. I hate how once I feel like I’m close to someone; it all just slips away from me. It slips away so quick, I never even remember what it felt like. I can’t remember the last time I looked in someone’s eyes and actually felt like I had something. I don’t have anything. And I have nothing because its safer that way. I feel numb. Not attached. And that’s what I wanted…or so I thought.
I like people. I like watching them. I like being by myself. I’m my only true friend. I’m the only person who I can ever agree with. I’m the only person who REALLY knows what’s going on in my mind. no one else… and I guess that’s why I don’t get along with people so well. All my life I can only remember having one true best friend. Now I have two. But yet, these people, I’m afraid to be attached to. I’m afraid of getting hurt by them, like I did my last one. What I’m trying to say is, I need to learn to love and like. I need to learn my emotions and get them down. That’s my goal for this week…. Thanks to whoever read all of this and comments on it... I don’t care much for comments... But encouraging could do some good in this situation…
This blog is dedicated to Microsoft Word. Without it, I would sound like a idiot with everything I’ve typed. Thanks Microsoft word.
Heh. =p
~Whitney~
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brokenapartglas's journal